valentines day is one of my all-time favorite holidays. and it has little to do with the romantic pressure of jewelry stores, candy companies or greeting cards. mostly it is about sweet mementos and creativity and thoughtful gestures of love in all of its guises. it is kris kringle in a cupid's outfit sprinkling fairy dust. or lady ostara and her bunny doing naughtily suggestive gift baskets instead of eggs.
this holiday makes me feel juvenile. flirtatious (in the broadest sense of the term). conspiratorial. benevolent. it sparks this streak of practical jokes gone sacharin. i feel permission to be corny. to let my feelings of love & appreciation vent freely.
even in college, when my classmates were pining over lost boyfriends or weeply over a solo valentine's day, i'd be industrious in the face of loneliness or heartbreak. i'd be in my room crafting handmade valentines with rubber stamps, glitter, sealing wax, phoney mustaches and glue-on bobbly eyes, feathers, sparkly ribbon, eyelet hearts. making play lists (well, then it was actually mixed tapes) and experimeting with rosewater macaroons or texas-sized heathbar,almond cookies to deliver to my professors. certainly i'd have a box in the mail a week prior to all my younger siblings so that they could open mosaic-collaged "LOVE" candles and read silly poems about their long legs and stinky farts and why i love them so much and eat see's candy or taffy or donuts or truffles or whatever my favorite confection of the moment was.
love was meant to be shared, dammit. and i was put on this earth to do it.
growing up, there were no more serious commandments than:
take care of others when they are sick
honor thy birthday celebrant for at least a week
do a kick-ass job of celebrating holidays
pay bridge toll for the people behind you
always give money to the homeless
tell people how much you love them. a lot.
pretty good ground rules don't you think? i'd like to play on that playground and i do my best to teach my kids the same thing just by *being* those things.
tonight i spent valentine's with my almost 90-year-old grandmother in her new assisted living community. she just moved in yesterday so it was her second night there and they had a 'sweetheart dance.' me, i'm all about that! 90 year olds voting for king & queen, hosting a dance with live music, an open bar and cupcakes. crowning the cutest couple. but not nanny. she insisted that she didn't want to go to this place - she liked to be alone. and boy has she been horrible during this move.
but tonight, instead of letting her be miserable and alone, i insisted we take temple and go out to the balcony where we could watch over the festivities & listen to the band - she didn't have to take part, just watch. so i poured her a glass of wine and out we went. her head started bobbing. the wine went down. she started clapping, wanted to be pushed closer to watch. temple went to the lobby for a cupcake from the amazing dessert spread and brought one back for nanny too. nanny said no thank you. then ate the whole thing and wanted another. when i asked her if it was time to go back to her new apartment, she said no 'because temple is having so much fun.' when temple was tired and asked to go back to the apartment, nanny stalled agai saying she'd like to finish eating her brownie before she went home. then she held out her hand and introduced herself to everyone all the way down the hallway to her room.
this is what i'm talking about - about love. about corniness. 90 year olds voting for prom king & queen. pink & red dessert trays. live bands playing love song after love song. a banner of hearts painted by local school children. secret valentines in resthome mailboxes. you see, love never gets old. sacharin, juvenile, cliche love is still love. and we all need more of it.
given how much i love this holiday, i did a crap job celebrating it for my family - kids, husband, family. it was rushed, last-minute, unplanned, uninspired. but even with all of that, it was a beautiful day. a surprisingly beautiful day!
(IF YOU ARE CYNICAL OR OTHERWISE PRONE TO BARFING, READ NO FURTHER.)
on sunday, i cobbled together hand-made valentine's from a paper-source kit for the kids' school friends and i did a quick dash to the market for school-day treats. here are our mustache valentines and school snacks (heart shaped lavosh crackers with homemade peanut butter & lemon curd or homemade strawberry cream cheese.)
this morning, i was out of pancake fixings (kids first choice) so i made french toast instead and served it on plates i've had for years:
without a valentine's day card for the kids, i improvised. turning pink index cards into mini-valentines, i put a handful of lovenotes in their lunch - one personalized to each of them (satchel, you were supposed to be born on this day 9 years ago. happy birthday my little prince VALiant!; temple, mama loves you from the woods to the ocean a million.) and then these notes for both of them, hidden under different snacks.
with their sugar cookie - you are sweet as sugar:
with their heart-shaped crackers - you make my "heart" pound:
and with their bread & butter - we go together like bread & butter:
(if you are wondering what else i fed my children today besides cookies, crackers and bread - have no fear. they had lentil and ham soup, ruby grapefruit, carrots, snap peas and apples too :) they just weren't as friendly to notes.)
my day was done. smiling smugly, i knew my kids would feel adored and loved - even if they thought their mom was corny.
when matt came home from dropping them off, he brought me a special latte with a heart swirled into the foam. 1. matt never buys coffee out. 2. he never asks for hearts in his foam. i felt like a very lucky girl.
later, when i went out to get in my car, i found a valentine on my windshield!!! a valentine ON MY WINDSHEILD. not from matt, but a girl after my own heart. a friend who thinks valentines day is important enough to sneak around town leaving handmade gifts on people's cars or porches. I mean, seriously, this is hardcore stealth valentines! and i love it. love, love, love it!
and these fortune cookies were dangerously delicious too.
finally, after all this goodness, i got a text from my mom that she was dropping something on the porch for the kids. i didn't get to find out exactly what until the kids came home. when i opened their cards & gifts with them, i smiled when i did because i was reminded exactly where all my sappy, angelic, corny, lovely ideas come from :) from the print handwriting for temple and the script for satchel who is learning cursive in 3rd grade, to the handmade jammies for temple and the children's animal medicine cards for satchel during his 9 year change, the 'romance' of these choices could not be more profound. this tenderness and attention to detail is *exactly* why valentines day is so important to me.
here is the letter my mom left for temple:
and for satchel (note the consistent message that mama-love will never go away...he might as well get used to all our hugging and kissing!)
i love you and will you be my valentine?
Posted by: mb | February 23, 2012 at 12:24 AM
You so rock!!! :-)
Posted by: traceykinohio | February 20, 2012 at 01:19 PM